White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
