I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Watching her eat just hurts me
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Bring me that man meat
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
