I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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