Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
