yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
