We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
