Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
