You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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