All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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