cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
