Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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