Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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