2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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