I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
