I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
