Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
