Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize