You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
