Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
