i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
