i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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