we're blogging at a bar
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
