It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
