hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
