I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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