He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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