I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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