some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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