I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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