Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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