Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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