I'm going to jail i love you
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
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