the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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