It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
