my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
