she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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