thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
