guys are only as good as the porn they watch
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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