I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
