I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
