ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
