no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
