At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
