Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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