Have you finally orgasmed yet?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
