Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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