sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Randomize
