so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Found your dick twin last night
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
