what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
