Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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