Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
