I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
