oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
