I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
