he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize
